poetry

A sad update on a cold Friday night.

Pain is one of the emotions we are most familiar with. Unfortunately. Physical pain we can handle because there is a certain limit to it. A limit when it reaches blinding and numbing borders but emotional pain…that’s limitless.

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Loss of a loved one
Broken heart
Rejection/ Failure
Family relationships
Let me lament on about the feeling of suffocating in your own misery. Staying up at night in a corner of your bedroom full of all the trinkets you’ve collected all your life and feeling empty. Let me tell you about the phone full of contacts but friends you refuse to call amongst the one you know are never really there for you.

You feel isolated and broken. Pain…Something we all experience but it’s most isolating feeling isn’t that ironic?

I haven’t posted in so long. After my grandmother died I felt like my whole life shifted. So much changes. So much troubles. Endless pain. Broken relationships. Broken family life. Broken. Pieces. Everywhere.

I feel like I have no one to talk to (well there is someone and ik you’ll read this but I know I can’t bother you every single time. You have life and others you need to make time for but whenever I truly need you I know you stand with me.). But I don’t know what I’d ever say how can I even explain all these emotions when I don’t even understand them. So I’m just here to try to find a healthy expressive outlet because a shrink is expensive.

Torn. She’s going five million directions.
Each piece of me pulled every which way.
Ripped from my core,
Heart on the floor.
Stomped on by you.
What’s funny is that you don’t even know.
Or you do and you choose not to.

Lost. She’s confused with all these changes
All the decisions she faces.
To pick herself, over someone else,
How could she? Is she selfish?
She hasn’t even started to live
But her life still isn’t her own.
She wasn’t lucky like them
Born into love or money like them
Didn’t even start the race but already sees the end.

Broken. She’s in a room with her ballet shoes.
But she can’t move,
Her knees buckle her ankles shake.
Weaken to her core in this state.
Her rhythm broken. Her dance is in a stall.
The moment she takes the leap she falls.

And falls, but never stops falling.
Xx hope this wasn’t too depressing for you xX

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