Okay so I just re-discovered the WordPress app ladies and gentlemen! Simply put, a few years ago when I first used this app it was utter laggy crap (or that could have been the blackberry I was using lol) BUT IT’S SO MUCH BETTER NOW.

Anyways, that was irrelevant just like me and my existence sometimes. That sounded darker than the light self deprecating humour I was going for. 

So I’m officially on break from school while I wait to hear back from my grad school application. So my feelings are somewhere in between anxiety and dispair. Basically me everyday but amplified. 

I am one of those  who believes your feelings can shape your dreams completely and shape your subconscious thought. 

I’m basically a modern day Jane Eyre (jk). But it totally explains the vivid dreams. Sometimes the dreams I’ve been having that turn out to be actual memories. Things I don’t remember or I’ve blocked out coming back in dreams full of desires and fears. Making me miss a lot of the old days that I’m trying to get away from. 

I probably won’t tell a soul what I dreamt because I feel like that was a past life but it makes me wonder why am I remembering these things now. Is it because I feel like my life is at an impasse right before something new happens?

Currently I’m on pause for a month before I delve into my academic journey once more but I want this month to count. I want to move forward not backwards. So um subconscious…Could you stop messing with me? Can my ID stop acting up?

Many psychologists and philosophers alike ponder on the meaning of dreams. Even some scientists practice onierology which is the scientific study of dreams. 

And I’ve read extensively on Jung and our good old pal Sigmund to know that what you dream isn’t exactly a clear cut map to what you feel but I wouldn’t have the slightest clue on where to begin my interpretations. 

For now I’m gonna lay off the green tea before bed and see if that helps. What I wouldn’t give for one peaceful night of empty darkness (or some say we always dream but we sometimes have the luxury of forgetting them so that will work for me too!) 


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